You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize