I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
