escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
