Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
