you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
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The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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