You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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