I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
