I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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