I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
