the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
