Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
