Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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