super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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