i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
