Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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