Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
