She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
