Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
