you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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