I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize