got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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