so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
