Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
