I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
