Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Vodka?
Forever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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