I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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