Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
