I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
