I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
