I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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