I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
