I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
