i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
