i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
