I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
