I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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