rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
