I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She bit a glass in half.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
