Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
