did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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