No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i came on her dog
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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