Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How naked do you want me to be?
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