what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
