I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
