people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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