My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
