so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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