I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize