I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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