This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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