3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
