Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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