ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
