Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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