READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
