Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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