today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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