she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
