All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
