i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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