I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
