just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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