I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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