I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize