How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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