I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I touched a dick in church today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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