dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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