i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
