Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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